I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
