someone get that fucking seahorse.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
