He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Everything about him screamed your future.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
