Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I did not marry a roomba.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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