dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
How naked do you want me to be?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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