it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
