Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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