if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
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Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
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Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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