So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
