when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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