White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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