Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Still dying that you shit outside
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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