Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
