I just saw a hot homeless man
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
