Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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