OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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