You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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