That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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