i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
