we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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