I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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