When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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