I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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