How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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