okay pat passed out under dana's car
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
