i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
