do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
