I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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