You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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