I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
ttyl tear gas
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
