can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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