I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
