$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
