I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
two words...techno handjob
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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