No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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