she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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