I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
