i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
