You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
FUCK WHALES
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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