Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
