I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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