No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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