I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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