She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
