How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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