Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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