im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
