he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Alive.
So much puke
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
