Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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