Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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