She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
