she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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