my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
