i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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