no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
