No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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