My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
they need to just BURY HIM!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
