I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize