Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
