69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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