Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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