I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This is my gift to your gina
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
