Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
