My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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