we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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