I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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