found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
