after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
