The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
